Warning: This thing's results are rather... grueling. @.@
Twelve Characters I Love
1. Ujiin
2. Lily
3. Eon
4. Kojiro
5. Zinatani
6. Vanessa
7. Yuneto
8. Jouichirou
9. Kazzanti
10. Kentsugi
11. Spade
12. Jack
1. If [Jou] was involved with both [Yuneto] and [Koji] how would [Yuneto] and [Koji] react when they found out about one another?
Yuneto:
Oh my, what are you doing here?
Kojiro:
... Waiting to kill someone?
Yuneto:
My word! Me too! WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER! **clings**
Kojiro:
... Get the hell off of me you freak.
Yuneto:
AND I CAN CATCH UP WITH THE TIMES! I MISSED YOU SON! WE NEED TO TALK AND NEVER BE SEPARATED AGAIN! **bla bla bla**
Kojiro:
... Shut UP!
Jouichirou:
Just as planned...
2. [Lily] and [Zina] are saying their vows when the doors are thrown open and [Spade] marches in demanding that the ceremony stop because [Spade] is in love with [Zina] and cannot let them marry [Lily]. Does [Zina] go back to [Spade] or stay with [Lily]?
Spade: Ah can't let ya do that!
Zinatani:
Who the hell are YOU?!
Lily:
Well this doesn't bode well. Where are we?
Spade:
Ah'm here ta tell ya somethin'! **aims gun** YA'LL'S GONNA DIE NOW!
Zinatani:
WHAT ON EARTH- WHAT KIND OF TEA PARTY IS THIS?!
Lily: ;D A showdown.
3. [Yuneto ]has a phobia that involves [Ujiin]. What is the phobia?
Yuneto:
Why do they always send the Nightmare King?!
Ujiin:
I know everything you fear~ that's why!
Yuneto:
That's just not fair...!
4. [Kaz] and [Jack] are having a movie marathon night. What movie does [Kaz] pick and what movie does [Jack] pick? Is [Jack] happy with [Kaz]'s pick and vice versa?
Kaz:
LET'S WATCH TITANIC!
Jack:
... No. When Oi'm not stuck as a lizard, Oi'm going to kill you.
Kaz:
I WANNA WATCH IT! WE'RE WATCHING TITANIC.
Jack:
... Oi hate you forceful toypes...
Kaz:
Yay Titanic! I love Jack!
Jack: ...
5. [Kentsugi] is in an unhappy relationship with [Kojiro] and realizes that he/she should be with [Lily] instead.
Kentsugi:
LILITH, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.
Lily:
Um, okay. What with now, hun?
Kentsugi:
That mentally disturbed samurai's after me again. DO SOMETHING!
Kojiro:
... 'Mentally Disturbed'...?
Mentally DISTURBED?!
Kentsugi:
HELP ME!
Lily:
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? **runs away**
Kentsugi:
I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
Kojiro: >8\ I'LL SHOW YOU 'MENTALLY DISTURBED' ONCE I'M THROUGH TEARING YOU APART!
6. [Eon] is pregnant with [Kaz]'s baby. How does [Zina] react?
Zina:
... Well... Uh... That's ... different.
Eon:
... She shoved a fetus down my throat. And is waiting for it to come out.
Kaz:
It has to come out sometime. THEN WE'LL HAVE A BABY!
Zina: ...
Well that's not freaky at all.
7. Does [Eon] handle commitments well?
Eon:
... Come on Ibala, it was completely an accident! SHE SHOVED IT DOWN MY THROAT! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
8. If [Jack] suffered from a mental disorder what would that disorder be?
Jack:
There's nothing wrong with me, it's just you.
9. [Ujiin] sees [Kojiro] with [Jou] and knows that [Jou] is involved with [Vanessa]. Does [Ujiin] tell [Vanessa] that [Jou] is cheating or does [Vanessa] deserve to find out on his own?
Ujiin:
... Well they're at war again. ... ... ...
**runs to Vanessa** HEY GUESS WHAT. YOUR MAN IS CHEATING ON YOU FOR YOUR BROTHER. LIKE SOME HORRIBLE FAN FICTION WRITTEN BY RABID SCHOOLGIRLS.
Vanessa:
... What? WHAT?! OH MY GOD WHAT?!
Jou:
... I have a very VERY bad yet awkward feeling about my existence suddenly.
Kojiro:
... I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to walk away from this, and kill myself.
Ujiin:
Hee perfect.
10. [Spade] is set up by [Kentsugi], on a blind date with [Yuneto]. Does the date go smoothly, and has [Spade] decided that he/she wants to kill [Kentsugi] before the date has ended?
Spade:
... Ain't ya'll that Pirate King?
Yuneto:
I'm sorry, who are you? Are you someone Faito pulled on deck again?
Spade:
Ah'm assumin' that means 'yes'. **aims guns** Guess that means Ah'm gettin' mah pay tonaht.
Yuneto:
Oh. You're a bounty hunter. WELL this blows. .__.
Kentsugi:
...
11. [Lily] and [Eon] have been dating for a year. Where does [Lily] choose to pop the question?
Lily: We've known each other for a very long time. Been through a lot together.
Eon:
Okay, your point?
Lily:
WHEN WILL YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON ALREADY!?
Eon:
OH GOD WHAT THE HELL-
12. [Kaz] wants to end their relationship with [Zina]. How does [Kaz] choose to do so? Heartbroken [Zina] has a one night stand with [Eon].
Kaz:
You're a royal bitch and no one likes you. Go drown please, you'll do the world a favor. Not that anyone would miss you, your existence is pretty unknown anyways. ou o
Zina:
Wh-what?! That- I... ... ...
NEXT DAY:
Zina:
Oh my god what have I done?
Eon:
Just gave me immortality, that's what. Thanks!
13. [Spade] and [Jack] married. How does [Jack] handle [Spade]'s death?
Jack:
... Oi don't remember getting married. Were we drunk? ... Oh roight. Ye doied. ... ... ... Well ain't that a shame.
14. If there was one thing [Yuneto] could change about their life what would it be?
Yuneto:
... My word, I should probably socialize more. OH WELL, NO ONE CARES ABOUT HUMANITY!
15. If [Zina] could say anything to [Kentsugi] what would they say?
Zinatani:
YOU HAVE TO KILL THAT WRETCHED PIRATE. HE'S FLOODING MY ISLAND.
Kentsugi:
Don't touch me, woman.
Zinatani:
I know where he is. He's a menace! Take him down, you control fate!
Kentsugi:
I might consider it, after removing your stench from my person!
Zinatani:
...
16. A drunken [Jou] comes home and finds [Ujiin] in bed with [Spade]. How does [Jou] react?
Jou:
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...
... Haa slut.
Spade:
Wh-where am Ah?
Ujiin:
YOU just lost your virginity!
Spade:
AH WHAT?!
Jou:
Raaaape~
17. Is a sweet love scene between [Vanessa] and [Kaz] possible?
Kaz:
HEY. LET'S DO SOMETHING.
Vanessa: Uhh?
Kaz:
LET'S DO SOMETHING THAT TURNS HEADS.
Vanessa:
Wouldn't just standing here with you turn enough heads?!
18. [Yuneto] and [Kojiro] are bitter rivals. What made them rivals?
Yuneto:
I don't understand! Why are you trying to kill me?! I LOVED YOU!
Kojiro:
Well let's see. You didn't care that I was born, you left me with YOUR burdens because YOU don't want to deal with them, you're using me for YOUR personal gain, and frankly, I just despise you.
Yuneto:
... Umm... ... ...
Don't hurt me?
Kojiro:
... I'll be sure to kill you slowly.
Yuneto:
I love you?
Kojiro:
... **stabs**
Yuneto:
OH MY GOD WHYYYYY?!
Kojiro:
How did you face even...
Yuneto:
I had great hopes for you, son. Great hopes. You could of done great things.
Kojiro:
... Why aren't you dying?
Yuneto:
I think I'll haunt you.
Kojiro:
DIE! DIE DIE DIE! STOP TALKING! **STABSTABSTABSTAB**
19. Is a happily ever after possible for [Ujiin] and [Jack]?
Ujiin:
What's up, Jackie?
Jack:
... Please tell me Oi'm drunk.
Ujiin:
I have a meat grinder delivery for you.
Jack:
... ... ...
STAY AWAY!
Ujiin:
**flung out a window**
20. [Kojiro] undergoes a gender-swap. Who would he/she sleep with first? [Vanessa] or [Zina]?
Kojiro:
... One would be incest, and the other is a bitch. I don't want to be seen as a lesbian either... so...
Zinatani:
Well aren't you the charming one.
Vanessa:
I ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER!
Kojiro:
... It's temporary.
Vanessa:
Oh...
21. If [Yuneto] had to be stuck on a island with [Lily] or [Eon] which would [Yuneto] choose? Why?
Yuneto:
... I choose...
The thick black chick.
Lily:
You callin' me fat?
Eon:
... Whatever. What the fuck ever. I'm gone. **walks off**
Yuneto:
This is going to be fun!
Lily:
Damn straight! I'm gonna beat the crap outta you!
Yuneto:
... Why?
Lily:
... How old are you again, honey? You act six.
22. [Ujiin] and [Lily] are romantically involved when [Ujiin]'s original love, [Spade] returns from the dead. How does [Ujiin] handle the person's return?
Ujiin:
Am I still drunk?
Lily:
Ujiin, sugar, you're always drunk.
Spade:
YA'LL AIN'T GETTIN' AWAY WITH WHAT YA'LL DID! **fires guns**
Ujiin:
I'm getting filled with HOLES! LOOK LILY, I'M HOLY NOW!
Lily:
...
Spade:
Wait, ya'll ain't involved, are ya?
Lily:
Oh no, he's my 'brother'. Go ahead.
Ujiin:
WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT?! WE COULDA HAD SOMETHIN'!
23. [Kaz] is forced to choose who will live between [Eon] and [Vanessa]. Which one does [Kaz] choose to live?
Kaz:
Okay... The lady already died once. You're just a cat. No one likes cats.
Vanessa:
Isn't there a way none of us have to die?
Eon:
Aren't you a cat too?
Kaz:
NO. ONE MUST DIE!
Eon:
... What the shit?!
Vanessa:
What is wrong with her?!
Kaz:
EVERYBODY'S GONNA BE HAPPY. SO HAPPY.
Eon:
... Step back slowly... and run. Run until your legs fall off.
24. [Yuneto] falls in love with [Jou]. When [Yuneto] gets the opportunity to be with [Jou] he/she is happy... until he/she finds out that [Jou] is only using him/her to get close to [Lily].
Yuneto:
You know. I forgave you for trying to have me killed. Really.
Jou:
... What the fuck do you want?
Yuneto:
And I know you only used me to get to someone else.
Jou:
... I wanted you and your son to kill each other- WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?!
Yuneto:
You're pretty enough to eat. I like the pretty ones.
Jou:
... What the fuck?!
Yuneto:
Think you're gonna be getting away with that?! I don't like being used, kid.
Jou:
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT STOP TOUCHING ME YOU FREAK!
Yuneto:
Now that's not nice at all~
Kojiro:
... **drinks sake** Now you know how it feels to have a freak all over you.
Jou:
Youuuuu...