WARNINGRant Ahead
It's just personal realization, chill out. Friends only need to read the bottom part, that's all that matters for you guys.
It's also to no one in particular, so don't go and think it is plz.
Okay, so, I've kept /mostly/ to myself over the massive depression I've been in since my panic attack on Monday from stress of looking for a job and dealing with backbiters that don't seem to understand respect.
Here's just a few things I will respect:
A person and their beliefs, views, and creations, property, and boundaries.
When won't I respect them?
When they don't respect me even when I have respected them more than they deserved.
Where is this coming from?
I have met several people who seem to lack respect but prosper in ignorance. If you can't respect yourself, that's fine. But don't bring your ignorance and stupidity down on me because you can't figure out why you're looked down on all the time.
People
are the first thing I come into contact with and are everywhere. I respect them- until they don't respect what I have to say or do. Don't you come to me asking something, then disregard it entirely and go with something else. It's disrespectful and rather insulting. Maybe you shouldn't say anything at all. Yeah, we all make mistakes [I know I sure do], but when it's pointed out, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE?
I am an artist.
I create. What I create is a part of me. I have a sense of humor, but it probably isn't the same as the next guy in line. I don't find men in dresses funny all the time, but I find it amusing when they are confident enough to go with it and still be in character. I find a joke funny, but not when it doesn't die. I don't want to hear the same thing over and over.
I respect what I create
and I respect what other artists create. Wanna make them a walking gag, fine by me. But my characters are not for your joking and jabbing- I get they'll have things that are quirks and will be made fun of, I have a sense of humor- why else would they be there? But they aren't made to utterly ruin their image. I would think any self-respecting artist would understand- and friends especially. I'm easily insulted when it comes to bashing my shit- that isn't critique or an obvious troll/sarcasm. I made them as they are to fit a role in a story.
If you can't respect me
or my creations, my story, or anything I say, then you really shouldn't talk to me. At all. Some people should not push my limits, because I have them, and I'm a rather uptight individual. And respecting myself and my characters? Respect my friends, too. The respect you show of yourself is what you get from society; you will be treated as you act. That's just how I am. Don't like it, some people should get their asses off my internet and out of my life.
Don't pressure me
into something because I probably won't enjoy it. I will get to things in my own time, but pressuring me will make me reluctant and I probably won't ever try it if someone keeps going on about it. Don't fucking argue with me, I'll snap on you and be done with it. I also have anxiety issues and will have a blowout after enough of it. I don't fucking care if it's a joke, you'll freak me the fuck out.
I am also majorly weirded out by a cousin who continually hits on me.
And makes sexual advances in a creepy fashion despite being in a relationship. I have no idea what to do about it...
Stalker #3. :I
This journal mainly pertains to personal shit, but there's a few people out there who fail to realize I have a degree of respect and don't like it when my characters are treated like they're just something that doesn't matter. My work doesn't matter? I don't matter? It gets hard to sit and laugh about something that's not funny.
It's also hard to not say anything, but I'm forced to quite often with all of the people who think it's all about them.
So from now on, I'm not staying quiet and walking on eggshells for anyone- friends, family, random hobos, my cat, it doesn't matter. Until it's my job. Then it matters. But otherwise, that's all the drama I need in my life now.
TL;DR and to friends:
I'M SICK OF SHIT, SO I AIN'T TAKIN' IT.
BE NICE, ASSHOLES.
OR I'LL RIP YOU A NEW ONE.
And please don't hit on me when you're taken.
